You've got mail

A few weeks ago I received an email. It was a FYI type email which was only conveying a message. The person needed an acknowledgment that it was read by me. I've sent so many emails over the years and asked questions. I've not received any replies from him for those emails. Silence is all I received. I knew the pain of waiting for a response and not knowing the answers to the questions that might haunt forever. So I just replied back to acknowledge that I read the email. Usually when you get FYI type emails, you can just read it. You are not given a chance to make a decision, even your feelings, thoughts and opinions are completely disregarded. Does what I feel really matter to a person who sends a FYI email? So I didn't add anything to the email except for the acknowledgment.

This is the last thing I could do as a friend though I clearly understood what respect people had for the life I lived. Atleast I haven't forgotten what is friendship and what is expected out of a friend.

The last time I got the shock of my life, I screamed out of pain. But this time, I will not say a word. I started this blog dedicating a post on friendship, I'm not sure if this is my last post on this blog either.

When you think it can't get worse than this, it gets worse......

When you lose trust in religion, you lose trust in god. When you lose trust in humans, who is left to trust? No one but yourself.

I had tweeted this question a few days ago, "What is the difference between a blind man and a stubborn man?

The blind can't see thou he wishes to, the stubborn doesn't want to see thou he can".

Keep walking.....

The Mentalist Season 2 : So far

I've written about Mentalist Season one before and the long awaited season 2 was premiered on September 24th.

It is disappointing till now. Only saving grace is Robin.

I've been kind on my words I guess, Raj would "dexter" in his review soon, I hope :P

Workaholic

Today was one of the longest work days in my US history... The workaholic is back in business! Oh yeah! Burn out baby...

Helps to keep the junk feelings out of life.... It's all networking, server and client!

Thanks for showing me the wrong side

I decided to only thank GOD when by chance I get help! Here is a good time, I had career fair at the univ, so I missed my ride to work, so had to go by bus and trail.

I was at the wrong side talking to some random MBA guy, when a 'not in service' trail went by, it reminded me that I was on the wrong side... If not for that I would have surely missed the next trail and would hvae had a tough time travelling...

Thanks!

Posting from Agnie's iPhone

Do kids deserve love?

Why do I feel it is the duty of every human being to care and show love to new borns? They are the byproduct of our actions(probably mistakes in a few cases).

Is it because we are sinners and the ones being born are innocent? Do they deserve every bit of love and affection a baby could possibly get?

Given a choice to be born in this sick world, I'm sure none of the babies would take the green pill to dive in to suffer and die. I can safely say, pessimist babies wouldn't.

Save a kid's life. Show the kid love and affection... you might probably save a life, perhaps a few more. Good luck.

Thanks and Congrats

I got up late yet again(3 days in a row) and found that I was just in time to catch my ride to office. On my way, I got an email from my ex-colleague-friend that she was blessed with a son. She was a hindu and her hubby was a christian. 4 years ago, the same girl used to call me "bro" (most of the girls call me bro..... since I call them "sis" to avoid any relationship tangles). Then she said, "bro, I don't wish to get married... just want to remain like this....free with no added responsibilities". My reply was, "Don't worry, things will change". It did change 2 years ago, she fell in love with her team lead and got married. Now finally had a kid. She seemed to be very very happy.

The good news lasted for a few hours until I realized that I was being back-stabbed in office. The entire day was lost in a very very bad mood. I was very angry with those morons, but they remained shameless. I learnt not to be good with idiots who aren't good to me. But then, I don't wish to do tit-for-tat. It's better to avoid them.

Just a few hours ago, I went online. A couple of old friends pinged me (felt glad that still people remember me....). One person was a very good friend I held in very high regard since my soap company days. We shared bus rides only for a couple of months until he got posted in a different city. Though we haven't really met in the last 3 years, we still get time to chat. He is one of the good natured human beings I've met in this short(yeah right!) life. Another good news to end the day. He is in love :D, I was so glad to hear that. 2 years ago, another good friend with the same name fell in love and now is married happily to his love :)

Who'd not want to hear good news? The only medicine for souls like me to keep me going....

Thanks for sharing your good news with me folks! Good day....

Being good to morons

Why do I end up getting stabbed from the back time and again. I fight for everyone to win and I love to win as a team. But others are so insecure about themselves, they get selfish, act weird and stab from behind. What losers!

You lead them all the way, teach them all they need to know and finally, they just push you over so that they can get the job. I'm not even fighting with them for my position, I teach them every little thing they need to know so that they get better and work as a team. But you know people act cheap and show their true color. You go out of your way to save their skin, they don't even care about you.

Losers!

PS: I feel like having a smoke..... however that feels! :@ :@ :@ :@ Just totally pissed.

Refined life vs Change

I've been trying to curb this urge of using my blog to vent out my feelings. Trying out this new thingy of becoming stronger than ever before, "mentally"... lets see how far it goes. But then I realized, I'll be losing out on my online documentation of my thoughts. Let me fill up the gap.

It has been just a few days over 100 since the day I decided, I'll grab hold of my life and drag it the way I want. I started off doing things I've always thought I'll never do.

1. Lose extra kilos that hurt my back.

I started to jog. Once I started to feel good, I started running, once I got addicted, I couldn't stop myself. I started running every single day of the week, taking a day off either on weds or thurs (to rest my muscles). Started to diet, it doesn't mean starve, just eat little less, healthy food, avoided cravings, still had my share of icecream, gulab jamoon and those fries, but in limited proportions. Learnt about food, fitness and all that calorie bullcrap... in the end.. after 3+ months of hard work... I lost 15 odd pounds. I believed in myself and kept those favorite jeans and tees thinking sometime, I'll wear them. That sometime is NOW. Hardwork pays off.

Comments I received from close ones:
1. Stick - for becoming so thin
2. Health freak / monster
3. Something is wrong with you

Thanks!

Last Sunday, I played 90 minutes of non-stop racquet ball and my spine didn't hurt one bit. Earlier, I wouldn't have played 5 mins of the same game I suppose. (I have 2 slipped discs.... still since 1st year of college).

My doc used to tell me, lose those extra kilos, you'll feel better. But I could never do it, those eating habits... and "love" from parents and family, never allows one to lose weight. But I did it. I'll write a post on how to lose weight. It is VERY easy. (depends on how you define easy and difficult).

2. I wanted to sit down and finish my tasks without getting distracted.

I'm yet to accomplish this, but I'm getting there, slowly.

Apart from these 2 missions, I've been working like crazy. Reminds me of those days in my first company where I worked like a dog expecting nothing in return but burn out. Evenings are usually spent on either workout or watching tv shows and/or movies.

The Mentalist brought me back to watching TVShows. Thanks Lordraj :D. "Catching bad guys, finding the truth" has been the motto behind all these shows, and it gives me self-satisfaction 'cos it reminds me of who I'm. People lie to me, cheat me behind my back... still I find out. Don't know why, but I get attached to the protagonists all the time. My thoughts are 90% similar to their thoughts and I see myself in them. Probably people like me were born for a purpose, which I need to find out soon. The clock is ticking...

"Bones" is another TVShow I'm hooked at the moment. They show body remains in really graphic forms. But it hasn't disturbed me, 'cos I'm more interested in finding the truth. :)

Trying to find out my next step in life. It will be taken shortly, just delaying it and waiting for the right time. Naah, it is not marriage, my professional step I meant. Women make calculated decisions when it comes to marriage. I'm sure, at this moment, I'll not fall under any "safe and secure partner" category. I've got $ US 20,000.... (wanna marry me?)......in debt. LMAO

That reminds of my friends and colleagues who give me the feeling of how life has changed. Usually it wouldn't make one feel odd to find a UG classmate(a girl) having kids. But looks like even guys have become dads now. Hmmm, time to fill up my bag with lot of gifts next time I visit India. Should be a responsible UN'G'LE :D

Talking about change, my biggest fight with life continues. People change, their thoughts change, their feelings change, in the end they change. That is the lesson I learnt from life. At 25, I shouldn't sound like a kid nor should I sound like an old man who knows everything about life. I'm trying to find a balance between the two, you know, to be a mature adult.

"You've not changed one bit dude" - These words put a smile on my face. Most of the people who knew me, say those words. But they don't know the real truth. I've refined my life, but, I've not changed my thoughts or beliefs. (Yeah, I lost faith in religion and ..... God, let's not talk about it). Some people change their thoughts and they become someone you never thought they'd be. That is change. (Thanks to my good friend for letting me know this difference!)

Hope you'll are doing well. Best wishes to those who got married recently, getting married soon or planning to get married in the future. Congrats to a couple of those buddies who got kids. Life whipped a couple of friends in the butt to take care of their kids :P. Getting responsible huh?

Take care, until I feel like blogging.

PS: Nimmy, you called me controversial, but dude, I love to speak my mind and also things that I find are true. Let truth be told, most of them don't want to hear it anyway.